Please indulge me in one last message regarding the election.
Unfortunately, if the political trend of the past eight years continues, division and discontent aren’t likely to disappear after the election.
News and social media intentionally escalate the conflict and create false polarization through cognitive distortions.
False polarization in a political context is the exaggerated perception that opposing political groups or individuals hold more extreme views than they do.
This cognitive bias makes people think there’s a much more significant gap between themselves and those with different political views than there is.
For instance, members of one political party might assume that all members of the opposing party hold extreme beliefs, even though research consistently shows the majority of individuals from both sides have moderate views and have more in common than not.
False polarization can deepen our misunderstandings, reduce the willingness to engage in constructive conversation and increase social and political divisions.
We need tools as individuals and as a nation to overcome the distorted perspective of “Us vs. Them” and regain a sense of unity by engaging in conversations that connect.
First, what not to do.
We must be careful not to engage in cognitive distortions.
Cognitive distortions are irrational or biased thought patterns that negatively influence our perception of reality.
They often involve exaggerated, irrational, or pessimistic thinking, which can lead to negative emotions and behaviors.
Recognizing these distortions is crucial as it helps us reframe our thoughts to improve emotional and mental well-being.
Here are a few common types of cognitive distortions:
All-or-Nothing Thinking: Viewing situations in black-and-white terms without any middle ground.
Overgeneralization: Drawing broad conclusions based on a single event.
Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst possible outcome in any situation, even if it’s unlikely.
Discounting the Positive: Ignoring positive accomplishments and focusing only on possible negative consequences.
Jumping to Conclusions: Making assumptions about others’ thoughts or intentions without concrete evidence.
“Should” Statements: Setting rigid expectations for oneself or others, leading to guilt or frustration.
Dehumanizing Rhetoric creates an “us vs. them” mentality, promoting polarization and potentially inciting harmful behaviors. Historically, dehumanization has been used as a tool to justify discrimination, conflict, and even atrocities, as it removes empathy and fosters contempt or hatred toward the dehumanized group.
What to do:
According to social psychologist Dr. Jamil Zaki,
“Good disagreers ask questions instead of making statements.
They work to get underneath people’s opinions to their stories.
When they spot common ground, good disagreers name it.
When they are unsure about something, they say so rather than pretending to be confident.”
I will add:
Focus on your relationship rather than being right.
Be curious, compassionate, understanding, and less judgmental.
We all have reasons for our opinions, and when we feel seen, heard, and cared for, it feels safer to open up, be honest, and listen to another perspective.
Be solution-focused rather than problem-focused.
Focus on facts rather than emotion.
If you feel triggered and your emotions are rising, take a few deep breaths, sit back, slow down, and take a break. You can say, "I’m feeling uncomfortable or emotional, and I’d prefer not to talk about this right now." This is an example of a healthy boundary.
Embrace the concept of humility.
Humility is the ability to hold and express beliefs with an open mind, recognizing that your views may not be the only valid perspective. It involves listening to and respecting opposing viewpoints, admitting the possibility of being wrong, and engaging in discussions without arrogance or hostility. Humility encourages dialogue, empathy, and a commitment to seeking common ground, even with those with different opinions.
If you would like to explore this subject further, I highly recommend Dr. Jamil Zaki’s well-researched and fascinating book Hope For Cynics: The Surprising Science Of Human Goodness.
He says, “Conflict is rising in the U.S. and beyond, for lots of reasons, including tribal cynicism: the belief that people on the other side are stupid, evil, or both.”
However, using the tools listed above,
“can decrease the chance dissent will devolve into toxic conflict. But good disagreement is more than nice; it’s powerful. In experiments, people given the recipe you see here listened more intently and asked better questions. But the people they talked with also became more open-minded, even though they received no training. Outrage is contagious, but so are curiosity and humility.”
We can use these strategies when discussing politics or any subject, for that matter, and break this destructive cycle of division.
If we want to live in a safe world, we must learn to be safe people.
Be the change you want to see.
Comments